Making Parent Teacher Conferences Count: Questions Worth Asking

Parent teacher conferences in Surrey schools are usually short, often ten or fifteen minutes, and it is easy to leave with a pleasant impression and no new information. With a little preparation the same ten minutes can produce something genuinely useful.

Here are the questions that tend to produce specific answers, and what to do with the information afterwards. They are the same questions we suggest to families who come to us as a tutoring centre in Surrey after a conference has raised something.

Prepare three questions before you go

Teachers see many families in an evening, and the conversation naturally follows whatever the parent raises first. Deciding your three questions in advance is the single most effective thing you can do.

Choose from the ones below according to what you already know.

Questions about understanding

• “Which topic is currently the hardest for my child?” This produces a specific answer, which a general question about progress rarely does.
• “When work is lost, is it the understanding, the setting out, or the checking?” These three call for entirely different responses at home, and teachers can usually distinguish them immediately.
• “Is there a topic from an earlier year that is still causing difficulty?” Particularly valuable in mathematics and the sciences, where everything builds.

Questions about the classroom

• “Does my child ask questions in class?” A capable student who never asks is often quietly stuck, and this is one of the most useful things a teacher can tell you.
• “Where does my child sit, and is that working?” A small change occasionally makes a considerable difference.
• “How does my child respond when the work becomes difficult?” Persistence is a better predictor of the next two years than the current mark.

Questions about what to do next

• “If we worked on one thing over the next month, what would you choose?” The most valuable question of all. It asks the teacher to prioritise, and they will.
• “Is there help available at school that we should be using?” Most Surrey secondary schools run lunchtime or after-school subject help, and it is often under-used.
• “What should I be seeing at home if this is going well?” Gives you something concrete to look for over the following weeks.

Questions worth avoiding

A few openings tend to close a conversation rather than open it:

• “How is my child doing?” Almost always answered with a general reassurance, and the ten minutes are gone.
• “Why is the mark a B and not an A?” Puts the teacher on the defensive. “What would move this from a B to an A?” gets the same information and a better conversation.
• Comparisons with other students. Teachers cannot discuss them, and the answer would not help.

Bring your child, where appropriate

Many BC schools now hold student-led conferences, and even where they do not, bringing a Grade 8 to 12 student is usually worthwhile. A plan agreed in the room, with the student present, is far more likely to be followed than one relayed afterwards.

It also removes the possibility of two different accounts of the same conversation.

Afterwards: write it down the same evening

Ten minutes of conversation becomes a vague memory within a week. The same evening, note three things:

• The specific topic or skill the teacher identified.
• The one thing they suggested working on.
• What you agreed to look for at home.

Then set a reminder for four weeks out to check whether it changed. That single follow-up is what turns a conference into a result.

If the conversation raises something significant

Occasionally a conference surfaces something larger than a topic: a gap going back a year or more, a pattern of unfinished work, or difficulty that has been building quietly. Two useful steps:

• Ask for a follow-up meeting with more time. Teachers will almost always agree, and a proper twenty minutes is a different conversation.
• Ask what the school can put in place, and what would be better addressed outside school hours. Teachers are generally candid about where the line falls.

Where we fit

Families often come to us with a note from a conference, which is the most useful possible starting point. A named topic from a teacher lets us begin with evidence rather than a general assessment.

If your child’s teacher has identified something specific and you would like a plan for addressing it, bring it to a $50 trial class. Our centre is at 8806 141A Street, Surrey, BC V3V 7W5, and sessions run in person or online. Call 604-725-6845 to arrange a time.